Several people have asked me the last couple of months why I have not posted a blog in a while. The reason is simply I just have not been in a good place with myself this last year. I have struggled with depression, feeling inadequate, navigating a new life and trying so so hard to find myself again. I can tell you since moving into our own house my days are brighter and I feel myself making a come back. With that being said I thought today would be a great day to dust off the blog, let my light shine and to get back to doing something that once brought me so much pleasure. Today my sweet Robbie turns 10.
On this day 10 years ago Robert L. Hargrave, IV came into this world. My pregnancy with Robbie was my hardest one hands down. I had health issue 
after health issue. I remember the doctor telling Robert and I it was truly a miracle that I even got pregnant. The day he was born I was so nervous. I was scared about having the c-section, my surgery afterwards, the health of my baby, would I be a good Mom to him, would he love me and the list goes on and on.
The time came and they wheeled me into the OR. Rob was holding my hand and I remember looking at him and I just started crying. All of my emotions were happening at the same time and I could not control myself. Finally the doctor asked us if we were ready to meet our boy. Then out he came…screaming like crazy. But he was perfect. However, I was a little 
shocked that he was not brown at all and that he really did not look like Robert at all or me for that matter. LOL funny how genetics work and all this time I thought I would have a brown baby.
When we were transferred to our room I inspected him over and over to make sure there was nothing wrong with him. He had all of his finger and all of his toes. We began to learn about each other and to bond. I watched 
Robert become a different person and I fell in love with him for a million more new reasons. We were now a family of three.
Over the last 10 years I have watched him grow and become his own person. I have watched him become a fantastic big brother, friend to many, an artist and just an overall perfect human being.
This year was the hardest year of our lives. Robbie being the oldest boy took losing our house the hardest. He has suffered from severe anxiety and a little depression. Being a child and having to deal with all of that is hard. But with all of that being said I have watched him fight the good fight to get back to being happy again.
Yesterday was his first day of 4th of grade. He woke up and happily put his clothes on and he showed no signs of anxiety. He walked in to school and 
there were several kids that said hello to him and he even stopped by and said hello to his teacher from last year. When we got to his new classroom he expressed that it was not necessary for me to come in and that I could go ahead and just leave. That’s my boy. That’s my confident Robbie. If he can get himself together and take on a new year at 10 years old then so can the rest of us.
My kids truly do inspire me. They are full of so much love, hope, confidence, resilience, determination and they have so much desire to learn and grow whether they realize it or not. I want to be like that.
So today I celebrate Robbie and the inspiration he brings to me and his 
unconditional love he gives me. He is a blessing for which I am truly grateful for.
Robert L. Hargrave, IV your Momma loves you more than you will ever know. You are perfect in every way and I have enjoyed watching you grow and I will take great pleasure in watching you continue to grow. Your name means (fame, the bright and shining one) and that you truly are. Forever let your shine and never stop being you.
