You Make Me Proud

It has been a while since I have sat down at my computer and let my thoughts run wild. I figured there is no time like the present to get back to something that once made me so happy. There is no better time than Kaylee’s 22nd Birthday to sit down and write….right?!

So let me catch you up a bit. Kaylee is a SENIOR at the University of Oklahoma this year. I know, a senior…sigh. A week after our house fire Kaylee packed up her car and moved to Midland, Tx for the summer for an internship. She worked for Concho Resources as a Landman and certainly got the experience of a life time.

Midland, Tx is not an ideal place to live or work but she pushed through the summer and made it out alive! As a Mom I worry about all of my kids and I want to be there for them when they need me and when they don’t need me. When I hugged Kaylee goodbye for the summer and she drove away I cried. I cried happy, sad and confused tears. I was happy that she was given the opportunity of a lifetime, I was sad because we had just lost everything and I really just wanted my kids all in one place where I knew they were safe, and I was confused because I had no idea where our paths in life were going to take us and how we would even get there.

I always tell myself and my kids that everything will be ok and things will work out for the best and God always has a plan for us but sometimes its just really hard to believe all of that. The summer went on and I missed my girl like crazy and I know she missed being with all of us too. I was not the best Mom by checking in with her and making sure she was doing ok. I was loosing myself. And while I was loosing myself Kaylee needed me.

Kaylee pushed through the summer. She moved to a place in the middle of nowhere 8 hours away where she knew no one. She got up every single day and went to work like a GROWN UP. She grocery shopped, took care of herself and proved to herself and to me that she was perfectly capable of being a self sufficient working WOMAN…even when the situation is not ideal.

Yes college is a time for learning and growing but there are just somethings in life you can’t learn from school. Sometimes we really do just need those not so desirable life experiences.

Her summer came to an end and she has now started her Senior year. This year is so promising for her and her future is just so bright. Kaylee is STILL with Dustin her high school sweet heart and I am pretty sure he is my future son in law (not really ready to rush that situation but I know its coming sooner that I am prepared for LOL).

Kaylee and Dustin came to visit us in Texas for a weekend and it made my heart happy. I was so happy that all of our kids were in one place smiling and laughing and returning to somewhat of a normal life. Robert and I took everyone to our favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner just to celebrate us being a family. After being seated and ordering food Robert made a little toast because his heart was just as happy as mine (he does not express his happiness or his emotions very often so that was a real treat LOL). Dustin then decided to make a toast and tell us all that he had been offered a FULL TIME JOB as a petroleum engineer with Pioneer here in Dallas once he graduates. Tears flooded my eyes and even though he is not my child I was so proud him. He has made something out of himself. And he loves my daughter and her family so much that he knew that accomplishment was worth sharing with us.

I sat through dinner and came to the realization my daughter is a grown up. The dynamic of our family was changed the night our house was struck by lightening. We all were sent down different roads…not one of them has been easy. But all of those roads lead right back home…wherever that may be. We all always end up a dinner table somewhere laughing, smiling and sharing our fails and our wins. And I realized that my daughter does need me like she use to.

Kaylee, you have experienced life in every single aspect. At 22 years old you have experienced death, the miracle of life, happiness, sadness, wins, fails and love. At 22 your life is something to be proud of and you have a story that is so rich and worth sharing. At 22 you have accomplished and experienced more in life than some people will ever experience. I am sorry that I have not always been the Mom I should be…or felt I should have been.

If your Momma was here today she would be smiling just like she is in this picture. She would be so proud of you and the woman that you have become. The baby that she brought home from an orphange in Calcutta, India has turned into a beautiful, smart and strong young woman who loves Jesus and loves herself enough to follow her heart and make a life for herself. Your Momma loved you very much and I know she would be proud of the life you have created.

You make me proud. I am so proud to call you my daughter and to be a part of your journey. You have quite the journey ahead of you and I know there will be some bad in there but there will also be so much good. Your God has a plan for you and I know you will believe in him and yourself. Happy Birthday princess! I hope today on your 22nd birthday that you know that you are loved and that you can do whatever it is in life you want to do! Enjoy 22 because when you are 23 you will be out in the real world all grown up. Wow! How was that for a punch in gut LOL.